‘Don’t worry, you’ll find someone’ (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Are you one of those smug loved-up people who offers pitying comments or patronising advice to your single friends?
Stop right there. Please.
The past 12 months have not been a great time to be single.
What doesn’t help matters is well-meaning friends doling out unwanted relationship advice – and yet that keeps on coming.
Research by Badoo has found that 70% of singles find it annoying when friends or family try to give them dating tips, while 60% feel like they have to make up excuses for why they’re still single.
There’s a lot of pressure to couple up, even in 2021, as though being alone is the worst thing in the world.
And in January, that pressure ramps up, thanks to the continuation of the winter cuffing season, all the New Year, new me stuff, and the fallout of seeing everyone getting all cute and cosy over Christmas.
62% of those surveyed by Badoo said they find being single in January harder than other times of the year, with 50% even saying they’re tempted to text their ex (note: do not do this).
When you’re up against that, the last thing you want to hear is the same old platitudes from your coupled-up mates – and there are some common sayings that are especially aggravating.
Many daters feel the pressure to couple up in January (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
According to the survey, these are the things singles wish people would stop saying in 2021:
- ‘Don’t worry you’ll find someone eventually, I’m sure of it’
- ‘You need to get out there more, the clock is ticking’
- ‘When you stop looking, the right person will come along’
- ‘Have you found a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?’
- ‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea’
- ‘It’s time you settled down’
- ‘You need to be a bit less picky…”
- “In my day, you were married by 25…’
- ‘There must be hundreds of people on dating apps – just be more open’
- ‘2021 is going to be your year, I just know it’
Zeena, 25 said: ‘Being single in 2020 was a strange one. At first, I was quite up for the challenge, but restrictions did make it tricky at the time to maintain a spark with anyone.
‘Not to mention, the unwanted dating advice I received from all angles – my friends would say things like “when you stop looking, the right person will come along” – sorry, but since when does this cliché advice work in a lockdown scenario?
‘Then I’m feeling pressure from my mum, who isn’t afraid of reminding me that the clock is ticking.’
Another single, Sam, 28, is equally fed up of the ‘helpful’ wisdom.
‘My boyfriend dumped me during the first lockdown and since then, it’s been nothing but “there are plenty more fish in the sea” and “2021 is going to be your year, I just know it” – leave it out mum, I’m dealing with a whole new dating game right now,’ he said. ‘There’s no time for unhelpful dating advice.’
While we wait for our friends, colleagues, and family members to learn their tips aren’t the best thing right now, it’s worth learning how to chuck away the pressure and focus on your own happiness – not what other people think of your love life.
Natasha Briefel, UK Brand Marketing Director at Badoo UK adds: ‘January can be a really tricky time – there’s all this added pressure to set new goals and make plans for the year ahead, so it’s not surprising to hear singles are finding this time of year particularly tough, especially with often unhelpful dating advice coming from all corners.
‘We wanted to highlight some of the cliché and unwelcome dating advice that we just want to leave behind in 2020 and encourage our users to shrug it off and continue dating on their own terms, regardless of the external pressures coming from friends, family or colleagues – be kind to one another, chat, connect and date honestly and safely when they’re ready to do so.’
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